who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
