I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
