So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
