Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
