I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
You have to summon your inner elephant
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
