Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
