also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
