it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Drake has all the answers
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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