if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
