Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
