Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
