One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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