I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
