She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
