Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
