We're facebook friends in real life
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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