C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
