She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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