dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
