And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
