There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
how does that bad decision feel?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
