I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
