When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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