Need sex. Gaining weight.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
