Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
