i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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