she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
