Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
