i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
