look no pants
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
