Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
