you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
