How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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