Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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