Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
