I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Randomize
