It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
