i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Bring me that man meat
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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