There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
