Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
