I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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