I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
