Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize