I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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