Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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