think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
