Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
