He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
