dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
