So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
